Детско-родительские отношения Реферат

Child-parent relations are the environment that determines the child's men-tal development and determines the formation of his personality. The influence of parents on the child is largely due to educational influences on it, and the child's ideas are the internal (tentative) basis of education.

The role of the family in the formation of a unique social situation for each child is well known. The style of family education, determined by the parental value orientations, attitudes, emotional attitude to the child, the peculiarity of the child's perception of the child and the ways of behavior with him, is a significant factor in the development of the child's personality.

The family can act both positive and negative factor of upbringing. The positive impact on the personality of the child is that no one except the closest people in the family - mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, brother, sister, does not treat the child better, does not like him and does not care so much about him. At the same time, no other social institution can potentially cause as much harm in the upbringing of children as the family can do.

The authors dealing with this problem (R.V. Bortov, Yu.B. Gippenreiter, I.A. Loginova, L.G. Matveeva, O.V. Perelomova, O.E. Smirnova, M.V. Bykova and others) , assign an important role to the early experience of raising a child in a specific cultural environment, family traditions and emotional background of the relationship of parents to the child.

Questions of family education and the influence of family relationships on the child began to be developed within the framework of the psychological-pedagogical approach (KD Ushinsky, AS Makarenko, VA Sukhomlinsky, EA Arkin, AN Leontiev, A Zaporozhets, NI Lisina, VK Kopyrlo, and others).

At the same time, despite the fact that the peculiarities of the influence of family education styles on the formation of the child's personality are rather deeply and in detail examined in domestic and foreign literature, the issue of the concrete influence of the educational principles of each parent on various struc-tural elements of the individual, including at the level of individual personality traits, at the level of the semantic formations of the individual.

Child-parent relations by different psychologists are described by very dif-ferent concepts and terms, which are determined by the original theoretical posi-tions of the authors. At the same time, in almost all approaches one can see the initial dichotomy that creates duality or polarization of parental relations.

The first scientific direction, which placed the child-parent relationship in the center of the development of the child's personality, was, as you know, clas-sical psychoanalysis. Psychoanalysis has become a defining direction in the de-velopment of the basic concepts of child development, in which the key role is given to the problem of relations between children and parents (E.Erikson, K.Horny, etc.). The greatest popularity was won by the theory of attachment (D.Boulby, M.Einsworth). The central concept in attachment theory is the "inter-nal working model", which is an inseparable and interdependent unity of self and the other. A child recognizes himself through his mother's attitude to him, and the mother perceives it as a source of self-relation. This complex relationship in the original version was understood as a relation to oneself and to a close adult, which gives a sense of security and security.

In modern studies of this issue, there is a reorientation from the study of the child's self-awareness to the study of his behavior, which is most often de-scribed in terms of social adaptation and competence. Attachment is no longer treated as an attitude, but as a strategy of behavior with parents. E.Moss et al., (1998), note a positive correlation between the "reliable" type of attachment and school adaptation, harmonious communication in the child-parent dyad. The study by P.Crittenden (1996) shows a direct dependence of the strategy of behav-ior of schoolchildren and adolescents on the quality of attachment to the mother.

In addition to the attachment theory, the theoretical models developed by D. Baumrind (1967), as well as E.S. Schaefer, R.A.Bell (1969), are very popular in Western psychology. D.Baumrind proposed a classification of parental behav-ioral styles, which includes 3 types: 1) authoritative; 2) authoritarian; 3) conniv-ing style; E.S.Schaefer, R.A.Bell developed a dynamic two-factor model of the parental relationship, where one of the factors reflects the emotional attitude to the child: "acceptance-rejection", and the other - the parents' behavioral style: "autonomy-control." Each position is a relationship of various factors, their in-terconnectedness. Although these theoretical models were proposed more than 30 years ago, they remain practically the only ones to date that provide a meaningful description of the parental relationship.

Recently, cross-cultural and gender studies have become one of the most common areas of research for DRO. The conducted researches in this area, have shown, that to each type of temperament of the child there corresponds a certain parental style of behavior. An interesting study of gender differences in parental styles was conducted by A.Russel (1998, showed that mothers are more authori-tative in style, fathers are authoritarian or conniving.) Authoritarian style is more characteristic of the parents of the boy, authoritative - to the girl's parents.

A successful married life requires special abilities from each participant. It has already been noted that any interaction in the family requires a minimum of some general ideas, a minimum of "consent". In marriage, as in any other small social group, a fundamentally new form of behavior arises that can be called co-operative. This joint activity is diverse, therefore the personality that is included in it must have certain abilities and skills.

The ability to cooperate with other people always involves understanding their role in joint activities, the adoption of certain obligations and their imple-mentation. It is important that cooperation with other people be the most effec-tive, rational, productive. Very often success and achievements depend on this.

Everyone wants to achieve the maximum unity of views and emotional sen-timent with other people. Usually, when they talk about abilities, they very often (if not always!) understand them as professional abilities (musical, artistic, tech-nical, etc., etc.). In this case it is necessary to talk about the abilities of a special kind that are revealed in communication, interaction, cooperation with other people.

Marriage partners, as a rule, act on the basis of unwritten rules, which are not clear. Often, the spouses themselves agree on mutual responsibilities, on the division of labor in the family, on the distribution of the family budget. So gradu-ally the system of interaction and cooperation develops.

Naturally, the actions of the husband and wife are determined by how they understand the main goals, the tasks of family life. Each of the spouses contrib-utes to family cooperation. The behavior of a husband or wife is organized in re-sponse to the requirements that the marriage partner makes.

Joint life requires each member of the family to constantly assess their own actions in terms of how they are evaluated by others. Expected reactions are in-cluded in the behavior of another marital partner in advance. Over the years, the spouses clearly represent what the reaction of the other partner will be to certain actions or actions.

The family is a phenomenon, invariably connected with human emotions, experiences, beliefs and attitudes. One of the ways of logical comprehension of the family phenomenon is the search for its structure, certain permanent compo-nents that undergo changes during the historical time and life cycle of one family. Structural axes in the phenomenon of the family, according to S.I. Hunger, are the marital and child-parent relationship.

At all stages of child development in the family, various factors of the fami-ly environment, including the style of family upbringing, are constantly influ-enced by it. It can have both a healing effect on the educational function of the family and a destabilizing effect, creating various problems for the family, its members and the environment.

Psychologists distinguish typical violations of the rules of family education:

1) Provocative hyperprotection. The child is in the center of the family, which seeks to maximize the satisfaction of his needs. For parents are character-ized by the desire to "absorb" the child, protect him from all difficulties, indul-gence to all his whims. With such upbringing, the child develops demonstrative traits of character, painful resentment, suspicion, stubbornness, aggression. This makes him unruly among peers, i.e. social adaptation is hampered.

With this style of upbringing, inadequacy can occur along with an overes-timated self-esteem. This happens in a family where the child is often praised, and gifts are given for small things and achievements (the child gets used to mate-rial reward). The child is punished very rarely, the claim system is very soft.

The second option - demonstrativeness is a personality feature associated with an increased need for success and attention to others. The source of demon-strativeness is usually the lack of attention of adults to children who feel them-selves abandoned in the family, "unadvised." It happens that the child receives sufficient attention, but it does not satisfy him because of the hypertrophied need for emotional contacts. Overestimated requirements for adults are not presented by neglected, but, on the contrary, by the most spoiled children. Such a child will get attention even breaking the rules of behavior. ("Better let them scold than not notice"). The task of adults is to do without notations and edifications, to make comments as less emotionally as possible, not to pay attention to easy misdeeds and punish large ones (let's say, the refusal of the planned campaign to the cir-cus.)

This is much more difficult for an adult than taking care of an anxious child.

If the main problem for a child with high anxiety is the constant disap-proval of adults, then for a demonstrative child there is a lack of praise.

According to Garbuzov, such family is called detocentric [5]. Influence in it is carried out, as a rule, from below upwards (from the child to parents). There is a "symbiosis" of the child and the adult. As a result, the child has a high self-esteem of his own importance, but the probability of conflict with the social envi-ronment outside the family increases. Therefore, a child from such family can as-sess the world as hostile. The risk of social disadaptation is very high, in particu-lar, the educational disadaptation of the child after admission to school.

Most authors distinguish such parameters of parent-child interaction:

• autonomy - control (E.S. Schaeffer, R.K. Bell, S. Brody, E.E. McCoby, V. Schutz);

• rejection - acceptance (A. Rohe, M. Segelman, A.I. Zakharov, D.I. Isaev, A.Ya. Varga);

• exactingness (E.E. Makkobi, O. Konner, P. Slater);

• the degree of emotional intimacy, attachment (J. Bowlby, G.T. Home-tauskas);

• strictness (E.E. McCoby, P. Slater);

• inconsistency - consistency (S. Brody, E.E. McCoby, A.I. Zakharov).

The reason for the conflict is the point around which the conflict situation unfolds. There are the following types of reasons.

1. Presence of opposite orientations. Each individual and social group has a certain set of value orientations relative to the most significant aspects of social life. All of them are different and usually opposite. At the time of seeking the sat-isfaction of needs, in the presence of blocked targets, which several individuals or groups try to reach, the opposite value orientations come into contact and can cause conflicts.

Conflicts due to opposing value orientations are extremely diverse. The most acute conflicts arise where there are differences in culture, perceptions of the situation, status or prestige. Conflicts caused by opposing orientations can take place in the spheres of economic, political, socio-psychological and other value orientations.

2. Ideological reasons. The ideological cause of the conflict lies in a different attitude towards a system of ideas that justify and legitimize the relations of sub-ordination, dominance and fundamental worldviews among different groups of society.

3. The causes of the conflict, consisting in various forms of economic and social inequality. This type of cause is associated with significant differences in the distribution of values between individuals or groups. Inequality in the distri-bution of values exists everywhere, but the conflict only arises with such a mag-nitude of inequality, which is regarded as very significant.

4. The causes of conflict, which lie in the relationship between the elements of the social structure. Conflicts arise as a result of different places that structural elements occupy in a society, organization or an orderly social group. Conflict for this reason may be related, first, to different goals pursued by individual ele-ments. Secondly, the conflict for this reason is associated with the desire of one or another structural element to take a higher place in the hierarchical structure.

Any of the above reasons can serve as an impetus, the first stage of the conflict only in the presence of certain external conditions. What should happen, that there is a conflict, so that the relevant reason is actualized? Obviously, in addition to the existence of the cause of the conflict around it, there must be cer-tain conditions that serve as a breeding ground for the conflict.

The most important factor influencing the formation of the child's personal-ity is the harmonious intra-family relations of parents and children, the adoption of parents of children, the parent's interest in the child's plans, his future, the up-bringing of independence, the child's independence, the belief in the success of the child.

To achieve educational goals in the family, parents turn to a variety of means of influence: they encourage and punish the child, they strive to become a model for him. As a result of the judicious use of incentives, the development of children as individuals can be accelerated, made more successful than when using prohibitions and punishments. If nevertheless there is a need for punishments, to strengthen the educational effect of punishment, if possible, they should follow directly the deserving misconduct. Punishment should be fair, but not cruel. Very severe punishment can cause the child to fear or anger. Punishment is more effec-tive if the offense for which he is punished is reasonably explained to him. Any physical impact forms a belief in the child that he, too, can act by force when something does not suit him.

According to E. Arutyunyants, such a family is democratic [6]. The goal in this family is mutual trust, acceptance, autonomy of members. Educational im-pact - "horizontal", a dialogue of equals: parents and child. In family life, mutual interests are always taken into account, and the older the child, the more his in-terests are taken into account. The result of this education is the child's assimila-tion of democratic values, the harmonization of his ideas about rights and duties, freedom and responsibility, the development of activity, independence, goodwill, adaptability, self-confidence and emotional stability. However, these children may lack the skill of subordination to social requirements. They do not adapt well in an environment built on a "vertical" principle (that is, practically to all so-cial institutions). "

Parents need to strive to develop in their children the following personal qualities: a belief based on the consciousness of self-worth, an understanding of the merits and demerits in themselves and others, respect for kindness, honesty, friendliness, empathy, patience and courage, the ability to find a common lan-guage and joy in communicating with people of different sexes, ages and inter-ests.

In the process of working with parents, they need to form adequate ideas about the personality and psychophysical capabilities of the child. Correctly or-ganized system of psycho-correctional influences (group discussion, individual conversation, analysis of conflict situations, etc.) promotes a positive reorganiza-tion of the parents' relationship to the child, harmonizes family relations as a whole, helps to reduce their negative experiences. Psychotherapeutic work with parents is also necessary.

The main method of group correction of parental relations is cognitive-behavioral training, carried out with the help of role games and video training programs.

Psychologists have concluded that the same dominant feature of the per-sonality or behavior of the parent is capable, depending on different conditions, to evoke and a variety of forms of response, and in the future, the child's sustain-able behavior. The connection of upbringing with other activities, the subordina-tion of upbringing to one or another motive, as well as the place of education in the integral personality of a person, all this gives a special, unique, individual character to the upbringing of each parent.

That is why parents who want to educate their child not spontaneously but consciously need to start analyzing their child's upbringing with an analysis of themselves, with an analysis of the characteristics of their own personality.

Specificity of family education has the following features:

• the emotional nature of family education, which is based on family feelings;

• the educational effects of parents on children differ in constancy and duration in the most diverse life situations, which ensures the depth of influence on the child;

• it is the family that gives the child a sense of security, love, ac-ceptance;

• in the family there are psychological mechanisms of socialization that ensure the content and nature of such a significant influence of the family on the child. Such psychological mechanisms of socialization include reinforcement and identification;

• the family is a different age group in which the child learns to per-ceive different value orientations, different criteria for assessing life phenomena, different ideals, points of view, beliefs.

Family education also has a wide time range of impact.

There can be identified 4 tactics of upbringing in the family and the four types of family relationships that correspond to them, which are both a prerequi-site and the result of their occurrence:

• Dictatorship (systematic suppression by some members of the family of initiative and self-esteem among its other members);

• guardianship (over-satisfaction of the child's needs and guarding him from any difficulties);

• non-interference (recognition of the possibility and even the feasibil-ity of independent existence of adults from children);

• cooperation (mediation of interpersonal relations in the family by common goals and tasks of joint activity, its organization and high moral values).